after a nice bottle of sicilian white, sveva, native to rome, brought david and i to a very tiny osteria in the middle of trastevere where the selection is at a minimum and so is the english. but the woman who runs the place is apparently always present and serves her special dishes significantly of roman origin. despite being in one of the most touristic areas of rome, sveva said that she is not interested in catering to the tourist with americanizing everything, including her speech. what she does want is for the customers to enjoy her modest surroundings and exquisite yet simple cuisine. although we arrived early at 21:30 with the place appearing to be so tucked away that not a roman soul knew it existed, by the time that we left, the placed was packed.
indeed, there is nothing quite like being in a town with a person that truly knows what to do and where to go. so much is missed if one consistently follows tour groups and travel guides. perhaps it isn't always possible to know the natives, but it helps.
despite the delicious fare and more-than-accommodating company which included a driven tour of the exact procession i would need to take the following morning in order to catch the bus to the train station, i woke up before my set alarm with a sudden fear of the oncoming day. so many what ifs were clouding my head. and at 5:00 AM, not a recommended way to awaken.
flashes of recent news reportage of crazy violent crimes surrounding the rome area convinced me that upon trekking to the bus stop at such an early hour, i would certainly be jumped by a barrage of hooligans or moroccans.
i did look into my wallet upon getting ready to go and had a bit more comfort that the available funds in euro was embarrassingly low, but in that particular moment, it seemed a form of comfort for my erratic and ridiculous behavior. at least by waking up early, i was able to spend the few moments calming myself down before departure. all of this energy and stress.
for what? certainly there is nothing wrong with being aware of the surroundings and being cautious...but i had a moment of conviction that the crime upon my body and my wallet had already happened, before even leaving the apartment.
sitting in the airport lounge in the not so comfortable metallic chairs included at gate C24 facing an ostensibly bright samsung refrigerator billboard, i wondered what all of the tension was about.
fear of flying? that's the least of my concerns. fear of leaving bobo? well, i would miss him. but we would see each other in exactly a month.
after much thought on the subject, it was the vast cavernous fear of the unknown that was (and still is) concerning me.
lately it seems that i have been doing a lot of walking in the dark, not really knowing where i am going or what is going to come up from behind the next curve. it is exhilarating and terrifying on consecutive levels. perhaps this is the state of life. when it becomes predictable either it is time to die or at least make change happen.
a friend once said that change is necessary for growth. and sometimes that growth involves stretching in places that aren't that comfortable. and i am feeling those growing pains as i finish typing this line.
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