new name (part one)

perhaps i am being a bit obsessive right now. call me crazy (read my last post, i just did), but there is this slight feeling of insignificance that is overwhelming me at the moment with regard to my name.

jason moore. there, i said it. everyone i know knows my name. and probably has varying images or notions of what that names connotes. what i have not been completely conscious of, however, is how ubiquitous it is in this ever-web shrinking cosmos around us.

it started an hour ago. i added a friend's link to my blog and had to google her in order to remind myself of the proper spelling of her last name. after typing in what i thought to be the appropriate surname, i successfully came up with her link. there it was: the very first of the first on the first page on google. (i've done this before with niamh, and found some interesting links to doeat...another story).

out of curiosity, i proceeded to do it with my own name. yes, the name comes up. but nothing relating to me does. not in the first 20 pages! i don't know about afterwards. i halted the search out of discouragement.

am i being egotistical? what is there, in the cliched expression (okay, go ahead and use it!), in a name anyway?

probably nothing. but i'm bored. and i want to do something about it.

my ex-roommate changed his name once. around the same time, i thought about doing the same. but it seemed like a bit of work. maybe too much to do with my short attention span. or maybe i didn't want to come off like i was mimicking him.

i guess i simply don't like it. never mind the associations it has with the family. there is too much anger and self-pity in that realm to even waste energy on anymore.

it won't change me. probably people i know will not even use it. but i do believe that i am going to look into it.